apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
