No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
