I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
