I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
