At least make sure they are 18
Why
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
