I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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