She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
