im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We talked him into tasing himself.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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