You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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