i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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