I CAN MOONWALK!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
