the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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