the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
