Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
