Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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