Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You are the jesus of drinking
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
