They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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