We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
