I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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