it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Can I color on your dick again?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
