my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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