discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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