So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
