What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she smelled like a LAN party
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
