So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
