ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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