you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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