How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Someone signed my nipple.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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