She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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