you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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