with your own penis?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
should my penis look like a turkey
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
