I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Found the puke drawer
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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