If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
