He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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