hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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