Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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