Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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