I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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