and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize