I showed him my bush... on skype.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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