shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Watching her eat just hurts me
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
