Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
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malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
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The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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