Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
