wanna go halves on a baby?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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