i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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