I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Randomize
