i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Fuck me I smell like cheese
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
