the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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