Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
