pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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