I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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