and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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