This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
