you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
