I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
