ugly people sure do ruin things
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
